Church Of Nutella

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Church Of Nutella

Postby Famous_Fella_O_Nutella » Tue May 20, 2014 3:24 pm

Welcome to the Church Of Nutella!

Today I'd like to read from the book of Hazelnuts to open the service

"And by the shade of the hazelnut tree did Azrael sit and sleep, and while he slept he dreamt, of a spread so creamy and delicious he thought he must have died and gone to heaven, and when he woke he had only the memory of the dark brown sweetness, spreading over bread, and he did cry from joy at the mere memory of the taste"

Let us begin. My followers, the world is full of anger and greed. People want to acquire more and more, whether it's money and cars, or gold shields and tier 16 armor with level 9 enchants, people want more. Today's lesson is on moderation. When the wolf of dreams spoke to me, he told me this "A spoonful of nutella brings happiness, two spoonfulls brings more happiness, the whole jar brings diabetes!" We must learn moderation and to not over do things.


Ok that's it for the sermon, now it's confession time! I'll go first! This week I committed several offenses that I seek forgiveness for:

I was on an elevator and I saw someone coming but they looked very big and kinda dirty so I hit the close door button so I would not have to share the ride up with them

I was at the supermarket and I saw one of those gossip magazines and I spent 20 minutes reading about why Taylor Swift can't find a man. I also read about Kanye West getting married to she who shall not be named. I was weak and I am sorry.

I was at the supermarket and they asked if I wanted to donate $1 to help starving kids and I lied and said I gave money last time

I have a hidden jar of nutella and my wife asked if we had any and I lied and said we were out.


Oh Wolf Of Dreams, I seek forgiveness for my actions. Now I eat a spoonful of nutella and bow my head.

If anyone would like to confess and ask the Wolf Of Dreams for forgiveness, please post so that he may hear you.
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby Famous_Fella_O_Nutella » Tue May 20, 2014 3:26 pm

The Wolf Of Dreams is present, he listens to you all. He is also on Facebook at N Utella Wolf
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TEAM stands for Together Everyone Accomplishes More

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day"

"Never believe everything you read on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby notallthatfat » Tue May 20, 2014 7:18 pm

0.o woah
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby Famous_Fella_O_Nutella » Tue May 20, 2014 10:50 pm

Welcome fat. Have a Nutella wafer and be at peace
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby Majestical » Wed May 21, 2014 7:26 pm

Have ..... Mercy ....
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby Famous_Fella_O_Nutella » Wed May 21, 2014 8:41 pm

Majestical wrote:Have ..... Mercy ....

Mercy shall be yours. The wolf of dreams anoints you with the Nutella of peace.
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby Famous_Fella_O_Nutella » Tue May 27, 2014 11:30 pm

Let me read from the book of Hazelnuts

"And the first nutella was made, and Azrael did not open the hazelnuts first, he used them whole, and the nutella was not good. He thought and thought and prayed for weeks and could not figure it out. He was exhausted and passed out one night in defeat. The next morning he awoke and stepped on a hazelnut as he got out of bed. And he saw that the nut was crushed under his foot, and he was inspired! He opened up all the hazelnuts and crushed them, and added this to the nutella, and the doorway was open"

Sometimes we encounter a problem in life and we bang our head against the wall trying to figure it out. Sometimes it is best to take a break and not try any more for a bit. Sometimes the relaxed mind will figure it out while you sleep...

Ok now confession time:

I had 15 items in my shopping cart and I went into the express 10 items or less lane at the store

I went into 7-11 and took a big gulp cup. I put a kit kat at the bottom of the cup and then filled up the cup with a slurpee. I then just paid for the slurpee and left the store. I drank the slurpee and then I eat and really enjoyed that stolen kit kat. It tasted.....sweeter...

A Miley Cyrus song came on the radio and not only did I sing along but I knew every word.
TEAM stands for Together Everyone Accomplishes More

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day"

"Never believe everything you read on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby Shïnîgãmï_Ræmïnã » Thu May 29, 2014 10:57 pm

Whoa, some lengthy sermons on Nutella!
*applauds* Convert to Nutella!
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby Mr_Op » Thu May 29, 2014 11:08 pm

I think this is bad take it down aginst my relegion ..... God Bless Us All
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Re: Church Of Nutella

Postby Famous_Fella_O_Nutella » Fri May 30, 2014 4:02 pm

Monster_Salad wrote:I think this is bad take it down aginst my relegion ..... God Bless Us All

We welcome salad eaters too
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