Welcome to the Church Of Nutella!
Today I'd like to read from the book of Hazelnuts to open the service
"And by the shade of the hazelnut tree did Azrael sit and sleep, and while he slept he dreamt, of a spread so creamy and delicious he thought he must have died and gone to heaven, and when he woke he had only the memory of the dark brown sweetness, spreading over bread, and he did cry from joy at the mere memory of the taste"
Let us begin. My followers, the world is full of anger and greed. People want to acquire more and more, whether it's money and cars, or gold shields and tier 16 armor with level 9 enchants, people want more. Today's lesson is on moderation. When the wolf of dreams spoke to me, he told me this "A spoonful of nutella brings happiness, two spoonfulls brings more happiness, the whole jar brings diabetes!" We must learn moderation and to not over do things.
Ok that's it for the sermon, now it's confession time! I'll go first! This week I committed several offenses that I seek forgiveness for:
I was on an elevator and I saw someone coming but they looked very big and kinda dirty so I hit the close door button so I would not have to share the ride up with them
I was at the supermarket and I saw one of those gossip magazines and I spent 20 minutes reading about why Taylor Swift can't find a man. I also read about Kanye West getting married to she who shall not be named. I was weak and I am sorry.
I was at the supermarket and they asked if I wanted to donate $1 to help starving kids and I lied and said I gave money last time
I have a hidden jar of nutella and my wife asked if we had any and I lied and said we were out.
Oh Wolf Of Dreams, I seek forgiveness for my actions. Now I eat a spoonful of nutella and bow my head.
If anyone would like to confess and ask the Wolf Of Dreams for forgiveness, please post so that he may hear you.