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A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 4:36 pm
by CJ_the_Girl
‘Twas the night before Update, and all through the land
All the gamers were waiting with phones in each hand
The wish-lists were posted, demands had been made
The previews devoured, and plans had been laid.
The devs were all sleeping in chairs at their desks
In hopes that just one last patch would pass its tests
And then, in mid-morning (or evening, depending)
The servers went down for the sought-after ending
of the Great Update Wait of Two-Thousand Thirteen
As they flickered back up, there appeared on each screen
“Downloadable Content: Will Take Two Whole Days!”
“This just can’t happen!” cried Lord Venan, dismayed,
“If this isn’t fixed, we’re a bunch of dead meat -
Without all our gamers, we’re out on the street!
Now Darkhorse! Now Beekeo! Now Katy and Dave!
LittleMike! Listen Up! This build we must save!
It’s live on the Kindle, and Apple and Droid
Solve this mess quick, can’t have players annoyed!
Without intervention, the servers will crash!”
But disaster averted (phew!) – downloads at last!
Still over their keyboards, their fingers they flew
Last-minute corrections to prep for the slew
Of complainers and whiners just waiting to strike
The ones who always had instant dislike
For any fix made that was not to their taste
“Why spend time on THAT; THIS should be erased!”
With wardrobe-designers who needed some gear
That they hadn’t owned since the previous year
And long-absent players who came back to find
Their once-maxed creations were in quite a bind
With all the new content, some changes were needed
And everyone knew their complaints would be heeded
Or so they all thought - but the devs needed sleep
To the wailing and crying they gave not one peep!
Then out of the ether, Lord Venan appeared
In global, to see how the update was “cheered”
The chat-channels scrolled, the mods were a-hoppin’
With warnings and silences, and still they weren’t stopping
The questions, the comments, things got out of hand
‘Til every last gamer submitted demands
Lord Venan’s eyes were quite sore from the blinking
Of all of the whispers (what had he been thinking?).
Then slowly, things sorted, from War Mage to Justi
And old friends returned (albeit a bit rusty)
“Best” builds were developed and argued apace
And Fire Mages cleaned up all over the place.
The quest-burners finished new quests in a day.
Those with less cash - well, we had a delay
But not *so* bad, not really, the game was still free
More or less, it just took ‘til Day Three!
The arena was bursting with hopeful contenders
To settle if mages were cool or pretenders
Then, finally, things calmed; chat and forums fell quiet
Lord Venan escaped without starting a riot
But we heard him exclaim, as the weekend was done
“Enjoy Two Point Oh; next week – Two Point One!”

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 4:47 pm
by Bimbosigliere
DELETED

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 4:56 pm
by Mom_VanHelsing
Most Awespoon!!

You are a talented writer. :) :)

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 5:02 pm
by Possessed_Mithrid
Wow CJ!! This is great...and I hope your Clairvoyance is completely correct in your predictions of Fire Mages!! :D :lol:

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 5:42 pm
by Shekka
Great job CJ!!! Perfect as always! ;)

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 5:52 pm
by Sherpa
CJ!! That was totally awespoon!

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:23 pm
by Shadøw
Awespoon job CJ! My forum virginity has been broken to express my delight at this post!! Great work :)

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 7:03 pm
by Bimbosigliere
DELETED

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 7:06 pm
by Cascadia_LoveBunny
Nicely worded...and pretty accurate too.

Re: A Visit from Lord Venan (with apologies to CC Moore)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 7:59 pm
by TragicksLoveChild
This is great. Good job CJ